Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Gratituesday: The Faith Journey of desiring a second child

If I wasn't a Christian, I would really wonder if the world was against me and how I could make it stop.  But I'm a devoted believer and I love God so much that those thoughts did not enter my mind as we began our faith journey of desiring a second child.  If you have not read the story of having our first child (Reversal of Destiny), please do so first and then you will know why this is such another way God has been testing me and showing that He is God!

After our son Shrade turned one year old, my husband and I started talking and praying about having another.  I was 35 and would be turning 36 in Sep 2010.  I really wanted to have more children sooner than later.  It's hard being an "old" mom sometimes!  Anyway, we started "trying" in the Spring of 2010, but not being too serious about it.  After all, I got pregnant with Shrade so quick we thought it would happen the same.  I also know that when you plan that it takes longer too.  By summer, we were pretty discouraged, but trusted that God had a plan.  So after we got back from our trip to Minnesota in Aug, I missed my time of the month.  I was so excited that I went and got the home pregnancy tests.  I wanted to take them and surprise my husband.  I was very surprised that both tests I took came back negative.  I thought this very odd since I was pretty regular and then with missing my monthly I certainly thought I was with child.  So I decided to make a doc appointment to make sure.  The tests were negative there too.  This was Aug 23.  They did some blood work and other tests and asked me to come back in a month to go over the results and see what I could do if my periods had stopped.  To say I was disappointed when I left was an understatement!

Throughout all of September my emotions ran wild.  I couldn't sleep well, I wasn't hungry and I still had no period or any energy.  I was alarmed that something was terribly wrong with me like having cancer.  My husband was such a great support and at my September doc appointment he said I was perfectly healthy and saw no reason why I had stopped my periods.  If that was still the case, in a few months he wanted me to come back to see if we could do some hormone therapy or take more tests.  October was just as difficult.  What made it more difficult was that people kept asking me when we were going to try for another.  I couldn't say what was going on and I would smile and say, "we are thinking about it."  In my heart, I was crying and asking God how I was going to get pregnant again.  My husband and I agreed that even if we never had another child we would be content with our little Shrade.

About the middle of October, I started gaining a bit of weight mostly in my stomach.  As you can see, I am not very attune to my body.  I was so bummed and decided to start losing some weight, just 5 lbs.  So I began exercising and cutting calories for about a week.  Meanwhile, I just kept praying and asking God when I needed to go back to the doctor.  I was going to wait until after the holidays, but I just felt that God was telling me to go now!  So I made an appointment for Nov 11.

I went in with the intention to ask the doctor to get me on some hormone therapy to start my period again so if there was a chance for us to conceive, then it would be more of a possibility.  I was completely surprised when I went in and began talking to the nurse and she suggested that I take a pregnancy test.  I reluctantly agreed and when she returned she held up the little stick with 2 pink lines!!!  I was astounded with unbelief.  She said that the lines showed up immediately.  I started crying with joy!

How could this be?  After my doc appointment in Aug and I wasn't pregnant, how could I get pregnant if I didn't have another period?  I was beyond any comprehension.  When I thought back, I remember that all kinds of strange things happened in September, but I blew it off as my hormones being whacked out and being tired from chasing a toddler.  This good news I had to share with my hubby.  Thankfully, he works close so I drove down and shared the surprising news!  We were overwhelmed!  Also, this is very similar to my first pregnancy because I have experienced no morning sickness.  I think that would have a dead giveaway.  But I know that God wanted me to find out this way.  I'm kinda sad that I almost missed the whole first trimester, because now I have less time to plan, but I really like how God has revealed himself to me!

God totally surprised us in unexpected ways.  With Shrade, we knew we were pregnant, but God had us wait 3 months for Jeremy to get a job and with this new little one, we had no idea for 3 months that we were pregnant.  But God was working in our hearts to be content and rely on Him only for all of our needs.  Now even if this story did not end up like this, I would still love God and serve Him only.  God watches over every detail of our lives and I'm so excited to share these stories with my little ones when they get older.

Somehow I thought I wouldn't be able to have any more children, but I'm so grateful that God is entrusting us with another and I get be pregnant again (love it) and hold a newborn baby in my arms in May. So right now I am 15 weeks along!

GIGATTAATTGIG (God Is Good All The Time And All The Time God is Good)


Ava said...

wooohoo congrats. I bet the holidays will feel extra special this year ;o)

Annette W. said...

Wow! What a wonderful story! How far along are you then? God IS Good!

Beverly A. said...

What a wonderful story of God's faithfulness to those who put their trust in him. I am so very happy for you both!

Anonymous said...

Hi Shonda! Congratulations! I'm very happy for you & your family! :-)
Love, Laura Lesche

Alison @ Hospitality Haven said...

I'm soooo excited for you! :)